Monday, January 16, 2006

Who's that guy?

My friend Jeff is many things, but primarily, he's the founder of a new film rating method -- one which is destined to leave archaic stars and thumbs up/thumbs down assessment systems in the past. This revolutionary new method stems from his and his co-horts' appreciation of Michelle Pfeiffer's greatest film to date: Grease 2.

The rules are simple: Good films are awarded a number of T-Bird jackets in correlation with the film's level of quality. So "Toy Story" "Star Wars" Episodes 3-6, "Jurassic Park", "Raiders of the Lost Ark", "The Godfather, part 2" -- these films would all get 5 T-Bird jackets.
Watchable-but-not-great movies like "Star Trek 3: The Search For Spock", "Bruce Almighty", "So I Married an Axe Murderer", the "Die Hard" sequels -- these would get fewer T-Bird jackets.

Bad movies are not given T-Birds, but rather Pink Ladies jackets. The more Pink Ladies, the worse the film. So the Fantastic Four movie would get at least 3 Pink Ladies, if not more. Bicentennial Man: 5 Pink Ladies. Star Trek V: 4 Pink Ladies. Highlander 2 The Quickening: 5 Pink Ladies.

OK, so it's really just a cleverly disguised 1-10 rating system, but -- I still fully expect it to someday supplant Ebert's thumb gimmick.


Blogger WhidbeyIslander said...

For a few years now my daughters and I have rated movies in our conversations using a Leeper system of -4 (worst) to +4 (best). I first encountered this system back in the 1980s in the Usenet movie reviews of Mark R. Leeper:

The great thing about using a scale that utilizes both positive and negative numbers is that it allows to express not only enthusiasm and revulsion, but also indifference in an intuitive manner.

1/26/2006 12:30 PM  

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