Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Duel of the Fates Supplemental

Gandalf had made the mistake of trusting the Bespin cloud city attendees with Shadowfax; as a result, he found himself roaming and squinting through the bright hallways, searching for his steed. Suddenly he heard a voice: “You should not have come back.”

The room went dark and a great battle of lightning, telekinetic strikes, and wind ensued.

“Your powers are weak, old man.”

They dueled from room to room, a ferocious conflict of wizard versus Sith Lord, fighting in the carbon-freezing chamber, in the halls, until they stumbled into the main convention hall, where Bespin happened to be holding LandoCon, the Cloud City’s annual Sci-Fi Convention. Vader suddenly found himself confused, unable to locate his opponent, surrounded by a number of old men with long, unkempt beards. Gandalf took the opportunity to smudge his thumbprints across Vader’s mask’s lenses. Those of you who wear glasses know exactly why he did that. He tried to run out past Gandalf and find a moist towelette, but the wizard stormed “You shall not pass!”

Vader stumbled back until he toppled a card table, dropping his lightsaber and completely disrupting the Magic card game being conducted there. He scooped up his weapon again, but was dismayed to find that he’d accidentally picked up someone’s plastic, battery-powered lightsaber. Gandalf charged forward and began pressing buttons on Vader’s chestplate, hoping to find the ‘Off’ switch. His staff crackled lightning as he clicked frantically.

The Sith Lord was unarmed and still somewhat blinded, but he knew he had one last option. He picked Gandalf up over his head and carried him over toward the endless shaft conveniently located near George Takei’s autograph table.

“Oh not again,” Gandalf sighed, and Vader hurled him down into the depths of the mines. He turned and strode out of the room, the victor in this week’s Duel of the Fates.


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